Tag Archives: Books

A non-story: Why I Hate the Internet

Mandgirl

I saw this girl on the train. Hey, girl.

Mandbook

At 8:30 in the morning, she was reading this book. Hey, giiiiiiirl!

MANDBOOK2

Now that I’ve looked up Mandingo Pt. II, Amazon keeps trying to sell me this book. I hope Facebook doesn’t hear about this.

A one-act play: There’s Treasure Everywhere

calvin_and_hobbes11- AN OFFICE – INT, NIGHT

 

A deliberately unkempt ENGLISH MAJOR is going over his work schedule with his MANAGER. Part way through, she interrupts to point out that she’s just noticed that he’s wearing glasses that day, which is apparently not typical.

She casually asks for an explaination, but he seems to misunderstand the request.

 

ENGLISH MAJOR

What happened is I ran out of contacts and there was this whole thing where I couldn’t get any more.

It makes me feel like if I was trapped in the Hobbesian jungle that I wouldn’t fare so well.

MANAGER

What’s the… Hobbesian jungle?

ENGLISH MAJOR

Hobbes was this philosopher…

MANAGER

[laughs] I know Calvin and Hobbes.

ENGLISH MAJOR

Okay, well, that’s actually where the name comes from. Calvin was this Protestant philosopher and Hobbes wrote stuff about like, man’s struggle with nature.

MANAGER

I read Lord of the Flies. Was it like that?

ENGLISH MAJOR

[beat] Um… sorta.

MANAGER

Okay, good. You’re kinda like Piggy right now.

ENGLISH MAJOR

Hmm. Well, I sense that you’re using that as a pejorative but I guess it works.

 

Without words, they declare the battle of wits a draw and mutually agree to change the subject.