A one-act play: Isn’t This a School Night?

megaphone-11- UPTOWN A- INT, NIGHT

Three teenagers (ASSHOLE, DICKHEAD and DOUCHER) sit in the back corner of a car on the uptown A at like, 2:30 in the morning when everyone is tired as hell and just wants to relax a little bit. They are all crowded into one corner so none of their mouths is more than 18 inches from another. Still, they insist on shouting at each other at a level that you’d think even they would find uncomfortable.

THE LOOOK ON EVERYONE ELSE’S FACE indicates that every other passenger is independently imaging different ways in which these boys might die horrible deaths before the next stop.

 

ASSHOLE

Yo!

[shouts some unintelligible Spanglish]  

Right?

DICKHEAD

Yo, she was like, she was like…

[shouts some unintelligible Spanglish]

and I told the bitch…

[shouts some unintelligible Spanglish]

Yo, listen! Listen! Fuck that!

DOUCHER

Yo!

[stands and laughs, then shouts some unintelligible Spanglish]

THE LOOOK ON EVERYONE ELSE’S FACE

Shut the fuck up!

 

They do not.

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